House rejects effort to end funding for Cheney

How do you stop a rhino from charging? You take away its credit card.
How do you stop a corrupt politician from breaking every law in the book while making up his own? You take away his funding.

The fact anybody voted against this, ESPECIALLY Democrats is absolutely shocking and downright embarrassing. Remember that change that was promised when the Democrats took over? Well, here it is. Turns out, the Republicans will stay as corrupt as ever, and the Democrats will stay as spineless as they were the day Bush took office.

Political Cartoon of the Week

It's weeks like these (see below) that I consider starting a blog called "What's right with the world" and just leave the stupid thing alone. Until then, the only thing right with the world that you will see is most political cartoonists viewpoints.

Worst Week Ever

1. This should have been last week, but the Sopranos ending. Not the actual ending of the last episode, but the fact the series is over with. Don't talk about HBO's new programming, nothing will ever replace that show. Ever.
2. Joseph Frederick, the apathetic generation's new free speech hero, lost his case after the Supreme Court ruled that his suspension was granted when Mr. Frederick unfurled a "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner at a school event. Granted, free speech is extremely important. The Supreme Court ruled further to be stricter on students who appear to be advocating illegal drugs. Mr. Frederick's heart is in the right place, and the Supreme Court shouldn't be ruling to limit student's free speech even more, but this is blatantly Mr. Frederick's fault. If one is going to fight for free speech, step one is to grow up. If Joseph had sucked it up and taken a 10 day suspension, students would have that much more free speech. How does that look fighting for free speech concerning a sign that was a very childish joke? The next John and Mary Beth Tinker you are not, Joseph Frederick.
3. "The Secret", Oprah's new favorite bestseller, pushes thinking positive thoughts (I will get that new car) instead of going out and working for that new car. It's a wonder why the new diet pill Alli is so popular. Get this: one has to eat well and excercise too.
4. Roy L. Pearson, a Washington D.C. man, sought $54 million from a dry cleaner who lost his favorite pair of pants. (The case was recently thrown out) The legal fees have been hard to pay for the Chungs, the owners of the dry cleaners, immigrants from Korea. Pearson was also reportedly crying during certain parts of the case. Here's the kicker: Roy L. Pearson is a judge.
5. According to CNN: Dick Cheney, in an attempt to avoid cooperation with an agency that oversees classified documents, claimed he and his office were not parts of the executive branch, and therefore did not have to fork over secret documents. Well Mr. Cheney, in case you hadn't noticed, your title is the VICE PRESIDENT. As in, if anything happened to the president, (who just so happens to be a part of the executive branch, since, I don't know, 1789) you would become the next one. Who even defends this administration anymore? They are so corrupt and so secretive that the only way anybody supports them is if they haven't learned about all this corruption because of the secrecy. It's all too clear now.

Political Cartoon of the Week

In case you haven't noticed, Fred Thompson is lazy. (And Hilary voted for the war, Mitt is a worse flip-flopper since Kerry, and Obama is the best choice for president since Abraham Lincoln.) What's the proof? He's not campaigning, he's blogging his views on his website. What Mr. Thompson probably doesn't realize is what a huge inconvenience being president of the United States will be.

Worst Week Ever

1. Wesley Snipes pulling the race card in his tax evasion case. What he apparently doesn't know is that black or white, YOU HAVE TO FILE TAXES.
2. Britney's mother, Lynne Spears, is defending her daughter and what's she's going through, saying she's just "figuring things out." She's also been quoted as saying "It's sad that the whole world has to watch her make mistakes that all of us have made at one time or another." She's right. I remember going through what she's going through, leaving her children at home night after night to go out drinking, avoiding rehab, going commando , almost dropping the children multiple times while changing my posture so the camera can get a better angle.
3. President Bush's nomination for Surgeon General, has been quoted as writing "when the complementarity of the sexes is breached," (i.e. gay sex) "injuries and diseases may occur." So he's anti-gay..not a shocker coming from the Bush Administration. But anyone that believes STDs are directly linked to gay sex and gay sex only is simply not qualified for this job. Period.
4. What would we do without community leaders like Al Sharpton? He is right at the center of the race issue, defending those whose cases need the publicity. Oh wait, when I say "at the center of the race issue," I mean "where the cameras are." And when I say "defending those whose cases need the publicity," I mean yapping about Paris Hilton instead of Genarlow Wilson, a young Georgia man who is wrongly imprisoned.
5. Mike Nifong. Anything about him, anybody defending him, him trying to keep his job.

Curser in Chief

NOTE: This is not a story, it is an opinion column. It's still filled with facts, but there is a lot of opinion in here. That's why Bill O'Rielly can say whatever he wants and still be wrong at the same time.

Probably the best thing humans developed over the years was a sense of irony, which is a lot funnier and more useful in black comedies than the opposable thumb. There's not neccessarily anything wrong with what's in this column, it's just funny.

Synopsis: President Bush, fresh into the White House, was looking to clean up America's act. Too much sex, drugs and rock n' roll in our culture. He stepped up indeceny fines, signing a bill that would allow the FCC to charge a lot more for a lot littler crimes (ergo, Howard Stern on satallite). A direct quote from Mr. Bush: "It's going to help American parents by making broadcast television and radio more family friendly."

We all laughed when Bush was caught cursing and somebody understood one of Mr. Cheney's incoherant mumblings to Sen. Patrick Leahy. But now, despite the very efforts by Mr. Bush to clean up broadcast television, it is in part because of him that it will get worse.

Again, now that television (and hopefully soon radio) have a free reign to be more liberal with the curse words, there not neccessarily anything wrong with this. It's just really fucking ironic.


PUBLISHED IN TIME MAGAZINE WEEK OF JUNE 18, 2007

Conventional Wisdom: Prison Blues

Newsweek's CW has to be one of the greatest sources of quick news since the invention of the ticker. It's especially a treat when each of the new items are so cynical, as today.

Newsweek arrives on a Tuesday, so this is a great way to start the week, everything looking down. It makes sites like this, which have regular features touting why this week was the worst ever.

Honestly, even Paris should be sinking, because if Sarah Silverman at the MTV movie awards (I YouTubed it, I don't get MTV) taught us anything, it's that Paris and her situation right now is just one big joke to all of us.

PUBLISHED IN NEWSWEEK WEEK OF JUNE 18, 2007

Worst Week Ever

Worst Week Ever
1. Thought political corruption was just left to the Republicans? Wrong. Congressman William "I am absolutely innocent" Jefferson was found with $90,000 in his freezer. Please, please, please, oh God of Comedic Gold, please have his lawyers mention "freezing his assets". Please.
2. These kids and their rock n' roll music these days. A popular song by Avril Lavigne, and I cannot express my disbelief of this enough, actually has the lyric, I swear to God: "She's like, so whatever." Ms. Lavigne, Bob Dylan you are not.
3. For those of you who still think the United States is still on top for everything, here's one for you. The U.S. was rated 96th of 121 of (get this) the world's worst peace countries. I have a few suggestions, and not surprisingly, they involve #118 Russia, #121 Iraq and #97 Iran.
4. Anything Paris Hilton. Past, present and future.
5. Violent crimes are up for the second year in a row. Good thing we have a President that's so tought on crime. Actually...he cut police funding (along with education.) But hey, Iraq funding doesn't grow on trees.

Political Cartoon of the Week

Thank you Gary Brookins! This is one of the best political cartoons in a long time. This is true not only for the presidential candidates, but also Congress and every prominent political figure in America. Honestly though, one of the best details in this cartoon is the exit. It's not connected with the rest of the maze. Classic.

This maze isn't that bad of an idea for the next election. Put a few tiger traps in there, first of each party are the nominees. Honesty, I just want to see Hilary and Thompson slap-fight it out when they get lost.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD SAT. JUNE 9, 2007

A tale of two scandals

This is one for that 40% that approve of President Bush and the 26% that approve of Mr. Gonzales. Wherever you all are, stay in your underground bunkers, because the truth hurts: this is a horribly corrupt administration.

(edited to focus on timeline)

Hilton to finish sentence at home

Actually, this story isn't even true any more, she was sent back to jail this morning, but it's still relevant. Even before the sheriff's department did the same thing to her sentence as to what she is so famous for in that video (low blow), Ms. Hilton was complaining about the injustices of her case.

Now, before all of you rush to sign a Free Paris petition (you know you were going to), read this: Drunk driving related deaths are at an all time high since 1992.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD THURSDAY JUNE 7, 2007

NOTE: Update on the organ donor show: it was a hoax. Does this mean there isn't as much wrong with the world as I thought there was? No.

Ban of word 'rape' irks some experts

Next thing you know, people like the BTK killer will be getting off scot-free because they will be described as being "a little irked at their neighbors" and "just looking for his 15 minutes of fame."

In all seriousness, this is one of the most sexist events all year.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD THURSDAY JUNE 7, 2007

Too much reality?

A common theme in science fiction, especially recently with the advent of reality television, is people controlling the fate of others for the sake of entertainment. Until now it was just that; science fiction.

Of course, in a lot of science fiction, future earth is in shambles, humans have lost the ability or desire to reproduce and androids enslave the population. It's good to know what we have going for us.

PUBLISHED IN TIME MAGAZINE WEEK OF JUNE 11, 2007