Political Cartoon of the Week

I'm not sure which point the cartoonist is trying to make rings the most true: That this administration is in a huge political mess and just digs a deeper hole every day, or the fact that they just don't seem to care.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD FRI. JULY 27, 2007

Worst Week Ever

Show me a week where celebrity news overruns every aspect of the public media, and I'll show you the worst week ever.

1. No matter what Lindsey says, even if it's not her cocaine, IT'S STILL COCAINE. At least she's being original, that's an excuse the cops have never heard.
2. Some athletes (including Deon Sanders) have come out in defense of Michael Vick. No amount of rationalization in the world can save Vick and Lohan from jail time, and if they are, then what is this faux legal system we're hiding behind?
3. Sunni, Shiite and Kurds finally together as Iraqis for a soccer match...and after game gunfire kills and wounds dozens.
4. And an ironic story, but not the good kind of "politician says impeach Clinton while buying hookers" ironic. Boise State University football player Ian Johnson's wedding was this Saturday. The wedding gifts are unwrapped, the cake is all eaten and the thank you notes and death threats are in the mail. The problem with the wedding was that some in Idaho seem to think it's the 1800's (and that racism was justified at all) because Johnson married a white woman. The irony? Guess who's going to still cheer him on when Boise needs another touchdown. Mr. John Q. Redneck, that's who.
5. Those who complain that the Harry Potter books had become darker and more cynical as they progressed. Look around you. That's life.

FBI chief contradicts Gonzales; Democrats call for perjury probe

There is really only one redeeming factor in this administration. They look after thier own. Break all the laws you want, be as dishonest or incompitent as possible, and you'll still be on Bush's good side as long as you're a member of his party. Which is the strongest reason I've heard yet for becoming a Republican.

Worst Week Ever

Until my scanner starts to work, there will just be Worst Week Evers and the like. Also, because I missed last week's WWE, here's a double dose of depressing news.

1. Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson, betrayed all Democrats this week when he played the deciding vote of whether or not to block funding to Cheney's office. He should still be admired though, Mr. Nelson is one true non-partisan politician.
2. Regular readers of this blog (all of one or two) know that one of my favorite things in the world is irony. How's this: Louisiana Senator David Vitter was one of the first to call for impeachment of President Clinton when the sex scandal broke. Thank you and goodnight.
3. John Edwards was overheard saying to Hilary, long story short, how many of the smaller and lesser known candidates shouldn't have been at the Democratic debate.
4. Michael Vick and anybody who believes his stories and thinks he should still play. I'm talking to you four Falcon fans out there.
5. Bush vetoing a bill that would help with children's insurance. The catch? It would raise cigarrette taxes. Good thing No Child Left Behind is such a roaring success, or else it would seem he doesn't really care about children.
6. Just when you though FEMA was in the clear, evidence shows that they knew about some trailers containing formaldehyde and didn't (get this) RESPOND QUICK ENOUGH.
7. A visa has finally been approved for Bolivian professor Waskar Ari after a 25-month wait. Ari was percieved as a security threat, and thanks to our open, honest government, no answer has been given as to why he was kept out of the country for something that usually takes half as long.
8. The new face of flip-flopping, Mitt Romney (a.k.a. Flip-Flop Mitt) called out Obama on what he called "science-based" (?) sex education in kindergarten. Funny thing is, Romney supported this exact same thing as governor of Massechusetts. The truth is, the "sex ed" is really just teaching kids what is appropriate and inappropriate touching, for example, to avoid child abuse, no bananas and condoms involved. Blogger's Note: I question the common sense of a political party that gets angry at the words "science-based".
9. A mistrial was called for the "non-rape" case (see June 8). Correct me if I'm wrong, but in a murder trial, isn't the procecution supposed to try and prove the defendant COMMITTED A CRIME, instead of DANCING AROUND THE TOPIC. The whole case has turned into an embarrassment for the state of Nebraska. If you are a woman (or even know a woman), you have an obligation to say something and support Ms. Bowen, so please do so now.
10. The extreme Christians (and jealous authors) who are angry at Potter-mania. Some studies have shown that just because kids are picking up Potter doesn't mean they will read any more than usual, but still. This much excitment over a book these days is fantastic, even is Harry is a heathan.

Worst Week Ever

1. Libby and Bush. Rationalize it all you want to, but remember that Scooter was one of Mark Rich's lawyers and that Mark Rich never worked for Clinton. Honestly, though, they are all in it together.
2. Illegal prescription drugs found at Benoit's house. Go ahead and read the WWE's press release and what they have to say about the "rumors" of illegal drugs. Go on, read it.
3. Pakistani government troops using women and children as human shields.
4. The terrorism threat in Europe. Thank God we stopped them by bombing a desert wasteland thousands of miles away instead of using that crazy police work to track down terrorist.
5. Now, instead of spending two hours shopping for shoes, getting plastered with drink names that end in "-tini" and gossiping like they never let high school, the (fashionable New Yorker wannabe) women of the world may get the chance to see it all on the big screen, if a Sex and the City movie works out. Next: Look for The View to start putting out spoken word albums.

Political Cartoon of the Week

After a fantastic Political Cartooning week last week, the slump was inevitable. The commuting of Scooter Libby's sentence, whether for or against it, was really the only thing that (should have) stuck in America's mind.

Artist John Trever has a point with this cartoon. What does Mr. Bush care what anybody else thinks, as long as he keeps those 30% (20%? 15%?) on his side. The only problem is, his supporters must have their heads as far in the sand as he does.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD SUNDAY JULY 8, 2007

Girl was disfigured with bites, police say

Q: What's worse than a 3-year-old girl being bitten so badly by her mother's boyfriend that surgery cannot return her face to normal while her mother stood by and watched?
A: Both parties pleading NOT GUILTY.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD FRIDAY JULY 6, 2007

Killer wrestler made large steroid buys

This is "What's Wrong with the World," not "What is Absolutely Shocking in the News Today."

What's Wrong with this Wire

A new, probably not all that rare feature.

Monthly Sardonic Soothsaying

1. Dick Cheney will get away with the whole "sitting in between the branches of government" gig he's got going. Except for angry bloggers, this will be one war he wins.
2. If the "Grey's Anatomy" producers have any sense of humor whatsoever, the explaination for Isaiah Washinton's disappearance will find him in a motel room with a pool cue shoved up his ass, a-la Soprano's Vito. That's a pretty big if.
3. Ann Coulter's going to make a cancer joke about Elizabeth Edwards. That's no joke either, that's just the kind of person she is.
4. President Bush, claiming that he too is not a part of the executive branch, will take another term. Four more wars! Four more wars!
5. The current iPhone that thousands of people lined up for will, like any other form of TECHNOLOGY THAT JUST COMES OUT will have its share of GLITCHES THAT WILL BE FIXED ON THE NEWER, CHEAPER version in a few months.
6. After everything with Paris Hilton, Darfur will be forgotten again by the general public for another, I don't know, lifetime or two.
7. Libby will end up getting pardoned. Cheney has the ability to put too much pressure on Bush.
8. Despite comments from Colin Powell calling for the closing of Gitmo, it will not only stay open, but the proposed plan of another prison in Afganistan will go through.
9. July 7th will come (07/07/07) and Tupac will not return. He's coming back at 07/07/7777.
10. Because of traveling during the Fourth of July weekend, gas prices will mysteriously rise for a few days, then lower again once the holiday is over.

Worst Week Ever

1. Cheney, that lying, grumpy, heart attacking, crabby, sinister, despicable, old fart and his cronies are what is wrong with the world. He's really all anybody needs when trying to lay the blame for the world's problems on anybody.
2. WWE's handling of the Benoit situation. The press wire (see above) sounded like the drug companies trying to cover their asses, not the entertainment industry that is fueled by them. But it may as well be.
3. Ann Coulter's attacks on John Edwards. Whether it's about his dead son, calling him the 'f' word (see below) or wishing for his assassination, she's only helping him out. She probably has a secret man-crush on him.
4. Isaiah Washington pulling the race card. I blame people like him and Wesley Snipes for misusing it. They are the reason Genarlow Wilson is in jail.
5. Boycotting of Michael Moore's "Sicko". He could make the most nonpartisan or even extremely conservative movie, and hardcore Republicans would still refuse to see it based on their principles. It's the same driving force that makes them support the administration no matter what.

Political Cartoon(s) of the Week

Political cartoonists had a heyday this week, if not for the single reason that a grumpy old man is always fun to draw. So remember this, Mr. Cheney: the people may be apathetic enough to let you break and make your own laws, but the media isn't!