Grammar fails Bush again

Out of all the problems with the president and his administration, (see warrantless wiretapping, Iraq War, denying millions of children health insurance, playing politics, Alberto Gonzales, etc.) investigative journalism wasted on keeping up on whether or not Bush says "is" instead of "are." Woodward and Berstein would be proud.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD THRUS. SEPT. 27, 2007

Worst Week Ever

(Almost) noting guarantees the Worst Week Ever quicker than school schootings if you still go to school.

1. From the Real Racism Files: black students in Tuscaloosa, Alabama moved to lower performing schools after complaints that schools were overcrowded.
2. Blackwater and their "shoot anything that moves, shoot everything else later" philosophy. That, and the fact that Order No. 17 gives protection to Blackwater's "troops," making them immune to Iraqi law, thus free to shoot all the civilians they want.
3. Andy Gates, a disabled man who has flown on his own dozens of times, is not allowed to travel alone on a U.S. Airways plane. The seas of airplane customer revolution is stirring...
4. The Senate rejects a bill that would give soldiers as much time at home as they get overseas. Because allowing them time with their family after years and years thousands of miles away from home in an area where friend is foe and the streets themselves are littered with bombs would just be Anti-American.
5. Tazers and the police that have way too much fun with them.

Political Cartoon of the Week

This week's cartoon wins for the relavence of an increasingly frustrating topic in the news today: no real news reported. Though CNN is often most immune to the celebrity factor, they are by no means not guilty.

This cartoon does not, however, win based on physical attractiveness. Notice the awkward angle of O.J.'s head, who is not really looking at the cake, but rather freedom (how close his bond money is to being cashed). Translation: the cartoonist couldn't draw a quality caricature of the front of O.J.'s head, but the back, my God, is one of the most accurate representations I've ever seen.

Happy Constitution Day

For those of you that didn't know it was Constitution Day (or, like many of my peers, what the Constitution is), go outside and yell a big "Fuck You" to whatever politician gets your goat at that moment. And then go back inside quick before you wind up with a hood over your head and a car battery wired to your nipples on some secret island prison.

Political Cartoon of the Week

Rule #1 about progress in Iraq:
As long as the Iraqi government is more interested in vacations than helping thier country move forward, there is no progress in Iraq.

Worst Week Ever

If it weren't for O.J. this week would look at lot like last week: Staying in Iraq, rampant racism across the country and blatant customer rights violations by giant corporations. In other words, the Worst Week Ever.

1. Megan Williams was tortured, raped, humilated and nearly killed by six sick freaks. And people were outraged over what Britney was wearing.
2. Surge, then reduction.
3. Drawdowns = Withdrawl with a spin.
4. Southwest airlines foced a woman to cover up because they didn't approve of how she was dressed. Maybe she had lost the luggage with her other clothes.
5. O.J. Simpson and his uncanny ability to appear in a major news story every other month since the end of his trial.

Torture case may be hate crime

To: Michael Vick Supporters
Subject: This is real racism.




Blogger's note: Does torturing a minority while calling her racial slurs fall under any other type of crime besides hate crime?

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD WED. SEPT. 12, 2007

Russia tests 'dad of all bombs'

The end is near.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD, WED. SEPT. 12, 2007

Politcal Cartoon of the Week

The cartoonist had this very close. Just replace what he's saying in the first, third and fourth boxes with "I'm not gay", and it is dead on.

Worst Week Ever

What's worse than last week? A week full of political corruption and backstabbing! Worst Week Ever!

1. Mexican president Felipe Calderon calls for the United States to surrender its sovereignty, and accede to Mexico's inherent supremacy (and he said all this with a straight face.) Illegal immigrants, from what I understand, are running away from Mexico's problems, and aren't a secret guerrilla army that will overwhelm us with their sheer numbers, one Taco Bueno at a time. I could be mistaken.
2. Sen. Larry Craig's off and on resignation. Last update: he plans on fighting a guilty plea and overturning it before the end of the month. His effort would be admirable, if it weren't for the fact that there had been rumors of his bathroom antics long before this.
3. Democrats: you aren't getting off scandal-free. Norman Hsu, a big fan of Clinton, was MIA Wednesday, when he was supposed to show up for court. More proof that it's not what side your on, it's just whether or not you are in politics.
4. Those uncompromising, trouble-making Democrats will again try to take our brave, happy troops (who are by the way, winning the war) out of the terrorist breeding ground called Iraq. This time, however, they will change up the plan to make it more appealing to the steadfast and strong Republicans, who will, as any good patriot would, shoot it down. Those liberal pukes. Always after political points and never willing to just compromise by obeying Republicans.
5. A B-52 with armed nuclear warheads makes a trip over the Midwest. Good news: they decomissioned the warheads. After they made the trip. Thanks for that.

B-52 trip with warheads probed

I've tried to retire from this blog, I really have. It is the bane of my existence, and only serves to depress me even more than looking at a newspaper, because I must dwell on things like this. This story hits especially close to home, literally, because that plane flew right over my fucking home.

"At no time was the public in danger."

Remember those words next press conference you attend.

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD THURSDAY SEPT. 6, 2007