Worst Week Ever

What's worse than last week? A week full of political corruption and backstabbing! Worst Week Ever!

1. Mexican president Felipe Calderon calls for the United States to surrender its sovereignty, and accede to Mexico's inherent supremacy (and he said all this with a straight face.) Illegal immigrants, from what I understand, are running away from Mexico's problems, and aren't a secret guerrilla army that will overwhelm us with their sheer numbers, one Taco Bueno at a time. I could be mistaken.
2. Sen. Larry Craig's off and on resignation. Last update: he plans on fighting a guilty plea and overturning it before the end of the month. His effort would be admirable, if it weren't for the fact that there had been rumors of his bathroom antics long before this.
3. Democrats: you aren't getting off scandal-free. Norman Hsu, a big fan of Clinton, was MIA Wednesday, when he was supposed to show up for court. More proof that it's not what side your on, it's just whether or not you are in politics.
4. Those uncompromising, trouble-making Democrats will again try to take our brave, happy troops (who are by the way, winning the war) out of the terrorist breeding ground called Iraq. This time, however, they will change up the plan to make it more appealing to the steadfast and strong Republicans, who will, as any good patriot would, shoot it down. Those liberal pukes. Always after political points and never willing to just compromise by obeying Republicans.
5. A B-52 with armed nuclear warheads makes a trip over the Midwest. Good news: they decomissioned the warheads. After they made the trip. Thanks for that.