Monthly Sardonic Soothsaying

1. Dick Cheney will get away with the whole "sitting in between the branches of government" gig he's got going. Except for angry bloggers, this will be one war he wins.
2. If the "Grey's Anatomy" producers have any sense of humor whatsoever, the explaination for Isaiah Washinton's disappearance will find him in a motel room with a pool cue shoved up his ass, a-la Soprano's Vito. That's a pretty big if.
3. Ann Coulter's going to make a cancer joke about Elizabeth Edwards. That's no joke either, that's just the kind of person she is.
4. President Bush, claiming that he too is not a part of the executive branch, will take another term. Four more wars! Four more wars!
5. The current iPhone that thousands of people lined up for will, like any other form of TECHNOLOGY THAT JUST COMES OUT will have its share of GLITCHES THAT WILL BE FIXED ON THE NEWER, CHEAPER version in a few months.
6. After everything with Paris Hilton, Darfur will be forgotten again by the general public for another, I don't know, lifetime or two.
7. Libby will end up getting pardoned. Cheney has the ability to put too much pressure on Bush.
8. Despite comments from Colin Powell calling for the closing of Gitmo, it will not only stay open, but the proposed plan of another prison in Afganistan will go through.
9. July 7th will come (07/07/07) and Tupac will not return. He's coming back at 07/07/7777.
10. Because of traveling during the Fourth of July weekend, gas prices will mysteriously rise for a few days, then lower again once the holiday is over.