Peas in a pod

Resigning from job:
Gonzales: Dear God in heaven, finally.
Vick: Only if the NFL says so.

Apologizing for his actions:
Gonzales: No. And don't expect one either.
Vick: Yes. Thank you, Mr. Vick.

Supporters are:
Gonzales: Few and far between (i.e. Bush).
Vick: Atlanta Falcon crazies.

Defense strategy:
Gonzales: "I don't recall."
Vick: No. Maybe. Yes.

People who worked for him:
Gonzales: Were fired. But he had no idea why.
Vick: Killed dogs.

Political Cartoon of the Week

One of the few (and I mean very few) pleasures in life is seeing somebody's reaction when they are wrong, were always wrong, and will continue to try and defend what they thought was right, but was really wrong. Case in point: Vick. All the sportswriters, ESPN, Falcon fans, New Order freaks, etc. thought Michael was innocent, he would plead not guilty, he'd come back to play in the NFL and lead thier team all the way to the Super Bowl, and the whole thing would be forgotten. What a joy it was when he plead guilty, not only to financing the Bad Newz Kennels, but also to gambling and killing dogs. Albeit, I have not seen any physical reaction by any of his defenders, but I have seen an overall reaction. Silence.

Worst Week Ever

Creepy media hog pedophile and wannabe murderer gets the girl? Especially for single guys, this has been the Worst Week Ever.

1. Two charges were dropped against a Abu Ghraib officer after it was found he was not read his rights when arrested. Yes, they handled this right - read his rights, follow the law, etc. - but it's so frustrating that the arresting officers forgot such a big thing.
2. Speaking of dropped charges - if you wear your "friend's" pants with "her" cocaine in the pocket, that's okay. If you don't get the reference, you gave up watching endless CNN celebrity "news".
3. President Bush drew parallels between the Iraq and Vietnam war this week. Has he seen the light? Does he get it's a pointless war? No, he just thought we left Vietnam too early.
4. U.S. Rep. Bill Sali from Idaho was quoted in an interview saying that a Muslim congressman was "not what was envisioned by the Founding Fathers." The Founding Fathers also owned slaves, so all their views on minorities cannot be translated in a tolerant 2007.
5. John Mark Karr, everybody's favorite 15 minutes of fame sexual predator has announced he's engaged to a woman named Brooke Simmons. A cheat sheet to why this is wrong:
- She's almost half his age (nothing wrong with that, she's just too old for his taste if anything), who he likes because she looks younger. Two previous wives of his were 14 and 16.
- She is a single mother of a 3-year-old girl.
- They want to start leading a normal life, which includes Karr getting a teaching job again.

Why, that troop-hating, America-bashing, commie pinko liberal son of a bitch...

Political Cartoon of the Week

This man should have been canned a long time ago. But, like the liberal puke I am, I'm going to bring this back to Gonzales. WHY ISN'T HE GONE YET?

Worst Week Ever

Baby Einstein videos are don't teach children anything, video games make them fat and violent, so you get your kids some toys to keep them occupied, and they get lead poisoning. Worst Week Ever.

1. The Democratic gay rights debate. Again, the Dems have let me down - all but one or two said gays should be allowed to marry. The rest: cop outs with civil unions.
2. Liz Seccuro's rapist is getting off after six months. The cases are getting more frequent (see Tory Bowen), women are losing thier protection against sexual assaults.
3. Mitt Romney was happy as a clam winning the Iowa straw poll. You would almost think he hadn't packed up busloads of supporters from all over Iowa to vote for him, as all candidates do in straw polls.
4. Just try not buying anything from China, whether it be toys or whatever. Try for a week, tell me how it goes.
5. Good news Michael Vick supporters! Vick and his lawyers are finally getting a innocent plea together. Oh...wait...something just came in...TURNS OUT HE'S NOT PLEADING INNOCENT. IF YOU ARE INNOCENT, YOU PLEAD INNOCENT. IF YOU ARE GUILTY, YOU TAKE A DEAL.

Worst Week Ever

Trapped miners, pedophiles getting off scott-free, global warming naysayers? Worst week ever? Yes.

1. Bob Murray, the Utah coal baron, disses the press for reporting there was no earthquake, among other truths he disagrees with. Tip for budding journalists: Trust scientists (in this case seismologists) who have no bone to pick with anyone over somebody who may be looking at hundreds of lawsuits. (Note: There was no required second exit to the mine that collapsed, they were using the retreat mining method which is legal but a bit dangerous, and miners had complained about the floor of the mine buckling up earlier in the week).
2. Good news for supporters of Flordia state representative Bob Allen (if such a creature exist?) Mr. Allen was just playing along when he offered an undercover police officer $20 to let Allen perform oral sex on him. "I certainly wasn't there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn't there to exchange money for it," Allen is quoted as saying. Allen also said his fear of black people in the park made him think he was about to become another "statistic", and he would do anything (including become somebody's bitch) to make it out of the park alive. So, you either buy his story, and he's a stupid racist who apparently watches too much Oz and Prison Break, or he's a closet Republican homosexual, in which case he can just go to rehab.
3. According to a Glamour magazine survey, only 6% of women are happy about what they look like. Good news: Men are pigs ladies, we don't care what you look like. Bad news: Men are pigs.
4. Local pedophile news: Vick Putz, after being convicted of molesting a 12 year old girl, has been released from prison and is now teaching horseback riding lessons to children. The logic of this escapes me. Putz, however, has repeatedly declared he was framed, even though he signed a confession. His logic? He was "overtired" when he wrote it. I don't know about you, but even if I haven't slept a wink in five days, I am not so "overtired" I would write a note admitting to the molestation I didn't do.
5. After all the evidence is presented, there are still those who deny global warming is real (i.e. oil companies, scientists paid by oil companies, politicians paid by oil companies). If all this sounds familiar, you're right. Big Tobacco did the exact same thing: deny, pay, deny, deny.

Political Cartoon of the Week

If you get the chance to visit beautiful Omaha anytime soon, my best suggestion is: don't. The month of July alone saw 31 shooting victims. The problem is, in this ultra-conservative state, lax gun control laws putting more guns on the street isn't the cause of more gun violence.

Bruning says he's 'a friend of Nelnet'

Where does this man get the nerve? Letting a company go that misled hundreds of poor college students, a company so blatantly greedy that somebody from New York noticed before anyone here did? Where does he get the idea that he can get away with being so corrupt? (Please see: U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.)

Published in the Omaha World-Herald Wed. Aug. 8, 2007

Political Cartoon of the Week

The only thing wrong with cartoon is that Cheney can't be tied down to one branch. He transforms to whatever branch (or giant car-robot) he wants.

Worst Week Ever

What do you call a week full of some of the most hypocritical people around? The worst week ever.

1. Bush reveals (and that's using the word very, very loosely) that there are more undisclosed surveilance operations underway than what we already know. This is after we've learned that he is monitoring phone calls, international phone calls, internet dialoge, and credit card records. Odds are, it's illegal.
2. Tommy Tester, your friendly everyday Virginia minister and Christian radio DJ, was arrested after urinating in front of children at a car wash (and offering to give to cops oral sex) in a skirt. Odds are, he'll end up in gay rehab.
3. Michael Vick, and all who support him, including but not limited to: Deon Sanders, the NAACP (which is a great organization, but this isn't a race issue), sports casters and Atlanta falcoln fans.
4. The Minneapolis bridge. Rest in peace.
5. OJ Simpson (clear winner of Hypocrite of the Week) criticizing the Goldman family for wanting to profit off his "If I Did it Book".

Ethics bill on its way/Plan would expand surveillance powers/Rove aide appears before panel/Gonzales defends his testimony

What a day. Not one, not two, not even three but four depressing stories in a row. (This is really shaping up to be the worst week ever.) And this entry is for all you liberal commie pinkos out there. They all have to do with the government.

A. Ethics bill on its way. There is otherwise nothing wrong with this story, if there is one thing government today needs it's more ethics (and a new president, but that's redundant.) The problem here is the 17 senators who voted against it. Voters: find out who these people are.
B. Plan would expand surveillance powers. Democrats. They say one thing yet do another. Reminds me of, say, a politician. In this case, many Democratic Congresspeople had run with a strong stance against what the Bush administration has done so far (ergo, they won.) Here, they are blatantly supporting it. Police work is the way to fight terrorism, not - as some may try to convince you to believe - bombing and invading the wrong country. But it can be done legally, with warrants and crazy things like that.
C. Rove aide appears before panel. It's the same arguement with warrantless wiretapping. IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, WHY ARE YOU HIDING. Except in this case, those who are hiding are also the ones responsible for the wiretapping, and they have been super secretive while trampling over the Constitution since day one.
D. Gonzales defends his testimony. Why isn't this man out of a job yet?

PUBLISHED IN THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD THURS. AUG. 2, 2007